A School Day and a Murder

A story by Jonathan Henshaw - SnorthDesand220@mindspring.com

 

TEACHER

(in a room of noisy kids) Settle down class!(everyone silences) We will now start arithmetic.

CLASS

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

TEACHER

Shut-up! (everyone is quiet) We will start division.

Jonny

O.K.

Alex

fine (Blackout)

Teacher

OK! Arithmetic is done for today.

Class

YAYYYYYYYYY!(keeps yelling over teacher)

Teacher

SHUT-UP! (silence for 3 seconds)

Alex

(raises hand)

Teacher

Yes, Alex?

Alex

Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher

NO!

Alex

But I neeeeeed to!

Teacher

I said NO!

Jonny

(raises hand)

Teacher

What is it, Jonny?

Jonny

Can I use the lavatory?

Teacher

Yes, you may.

Jonny

(Jonny exits stage right)

Alex

(raises hand)

Teacher

What do you want you for god saken stupid child!

Alex

Can I go to the lavatory?

Teacher

no, you may not. WOULD YOU LIKE TO REPHRASE THAT?

Alex

Um, yeah. Can I use the lavatory?

Teacher

no you may not go until Jonny comes back. (15 seconds of nothing, and then Jonny comes back in stage right)

Jonny

Did I miss anything?

Alex

(whispers into Jonny's ear)

Teacher

No secretes!

Alex

Just telling Jonny what hap-

Teacher

Go to the lavatory, Alex!

Alex

Yes.(Alex moves to the edge of the stage, but bumps back, because he is waving by-bye to Jonny, and he runs into the door)

Teacher

Try opening the door, Alex.

Alex

(Alex finally gets out the door)

Teacher

Well, it's snack time!

Adriana

We don't know your name, you're a sub'.

Teacher

I am not a 'sub'' I am a Substitute. Mrs. Gronchnickle is at a meeting at another school. And my name is Mr. Gronchnickle. I am your regular teacher's husband.

Jonny

(starts mumbling to himself)

Teacher

Is there something you would like to share with us, Jonny?

Jonny

I was wondering if you had the same personality as your husband.

Teacher

I only wanted an answer to my question. And no, I do not have the same sick sense of humor my wife has.

Jonny

(Jonny takes a bag of Oreos from his desk, and eats one.)

Adriana

(Adriana has no snack, and looks sad)

Teacher

Andriana, do you not have any snack?

Adriana

No, I forgot to pack one.

Teacher

Jonny, give one of your cookies to Adriana.

Jonny

(Jonny obediently hands an Oreo to Adriana)

Adriana

No thanks, I don't like chocolate.

Teacher

Eat it!

Adriana

Pushy, pushy, pushy, pushy, puoushee! (Adriana pretends to eat the Oreo. she breaks it into parts and throws them behind her head like she were popping them in her mouth.)

Alex

(Alex comes back on stage)

Teacher

Snack time is over!

Alex

But I didn't get to eat! And I finally got my twinkies!

Teacher

do not comp-

Alex

Who are you anyway, you're a sub!

Teacher

I am not a 'sub'' I am a Substitute. Mrs. Gronchnickle is at a meeting at another school. And my name is Mr. Gronchnickle. I am your regular teacher's husband. It is time for social studies. We will be talking about Caesar.

Adriana

Wasn't he that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?

Teacher

No. That is Leonardo Da Vinci. Which you will talk about next week.

Jonny

Wasn't he the guy that went around the world in 1492?

Teacher

No, that is Columbus, which you talked about last year, I believe.

Alex

Wasn't Caesar that guy who wanted to take over the world or something?

Teacher

Yes, you are correct. Now, Caesar was a Roman..... (blackout)

Teacher

Social Studies is finished. It is now spelling time.

class

Yaaaay!

Teacher

Alex, spell antidisestablishmentarienisim

Alex

a-n-t-i-d-i-s-e-s-t-a-b-l-i-s-h-m-e-n-t-a-r-i-e-i-s-i-m

Teacher

Incorrect. You missed the 'n' at the end.

Alex

Darn!

Teacher

Jonny, spell exploring.

Jonny

e-x-p-l-o-r-i-n-g

Teacher

correct. Andrea spell Batc-

Alex

How come you dump all the hard stuff on me? Huh? Huh? Huh? Tell me! 'Cause I'm really pissed, and my mom can sue you 'cause she's a lawyer!

Teacher

You mean a liar.

Alex

No, a lawyer!

Teacher

okay. Jonny, that did not count. Spell me Brachiasourous

Jonny

B-r-a-c-h-e-a-s-o-u-r-o-u-s.

Teacher

Incorrect. You put an e when an I was needed. Andrea, spell me Haghlelulia

Adriana

H-a-g-h-l-e-l-u-l-i-a

Teacher

Correct. Now spelling is finished. It is Recess time!

Adriana

Thank god!

Jonny

Jeez lawease.

Alex

Finally, a break from this teacher. (blackout) (scene changes to the playground, where Jonny and Alex are angry at Adriana, and are deciding how to get her for being the only one to have an easy word in the spelling test.)

Alex

At home my dad has a rifle, and tomorrow I could come with it, and shoot her.

Jonny

No! We're not looking to kill her!

Alex

We could... We could.... Um, we could.... We could switch rotten homework with her perfect stuff!

Jonny

That's a good idea, but when would either of us switch it?

Alex

That is a little flaw.

Jonny

I know, we could push her off the jungle gym!

Alex

Great idea! Let's go! (blackout) (Adriana is on a raised platform representing the jungle gym. The boys get on, and slightly push Adriana when she is near the edge. Adriana screams, and there is a blackout before you can see any falling of any sort)

OFFSTAGE VOICE

Adriana was pushed off the jungle gym. She landed on her head, and it snapped off her neck. Alex and Jonny had killed her. They ran away, never to be seen again.